Who links to me?
I thought I would share something a little more personal today. When I first started this blog I pretty much kept it to myself. My wife knew about it and encouraged me but I didn’t tell any of my coworkers, family or friends except two. One I had to my buddy Richard because I needed his help setting up the blog, and adding all the plug ins etc. Thank you Rich for all your help. I also told my friend Steve even though I knew we had been disagreeing about politics lately (he hates GWB and I don’t) but I thought he would get a kick out of it.
Well I was wrong. Since sending him a link to the blog one day my friend has basically cut off all contact with me other than in the comment section here. He has accused me of being a racist, a liar, a homophobe, and a dirty Republican, etc, etc. He even told me he didn’t want someone like me around his kids and has threatened to “expose me”. Now we have been close friends for over 15 years and room mates on two separate occasions. His comments hurt. I kept asking myself have I changed? Have I become some horrible person? Did I turn into *gasp* a Republican one day?
I just couldn’t make sense of it. All I had done was started a better job (which I worked very hard for), bought a home, settled down and stopped going out to bars and parties and other generally destructive behavior. My wife and I decided to try and have children and we are still trying. So why did my friend now hate me?
I am sure my friend can give you the details of exactly what I did when I was young and irresponsible since he was there with me for quite a lot of it but suffice it to say I was young and irresponsible and through luck or the grace of God or something we both survived it and didn’t land in jail or hurt anyone. Is that the person my friend wanted around his kids?
I asked him to stop reading the blog as it only seemed to upset him. In the end I came to the conclusion that if my friend didn’t want to be friends anymore fine. I wish we could still be friends, but that is not my decision, it’s his. I am happy with myself and proud of who I am today. I am not ashamed of who I was or what I have done in the past. In fact I think I learned quite a bit but I am also glad to have finally grown up.
I thought the whole thing was settled and other than speaking to a few other friends about what had come between Steve and I it was over. Until yesterday; When I got home from work I checked the comments section and Steve had left a couple new comments on the blog. More insults of course. I guess he can’t stay away.
Coincidentally I also told my Mom about my blog yesterday. I sent her and email in the morning with links to my interviews with Buck Sargent, and T.F. Boggs, and Fred Barnes, and with 24 Steps to Liberty, and Baghdad Treasure. Late last night she left a message on our answering machine. My wife and I were already in bed. She said she was reading the blog, and she was so proud of me “I could just bust buttons right now” were her exact words.
I can’t tell you how good that made me feel. That erased any doubts I ever had about what I have to say on this blog. I can’t force Steve to be my friend. If he is ashamed of me, or hates me I can’t stop him. He is a good man. I wish him and his family a long and happy life. All I know is my mom is proud of me.
This post is linked to : Third World County, Outside The Beltway, Adam’s blog, Blue Star Chronicles, TMH’s Bacon Bits, Voteswagon, Stuck On Stupid, the Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns, the Uncooperative Blogger, Stop The ACLU, Wizbang, Woman Honor Thyself,
Linking Posts
“All I know is my mom is proud of me.”
And rightly so!
Comment by David � April 8, 2006 @ 11:07 am
Well you know I cry at a drop of a hat, we discussed that before…but this beautiful quote from your mother makes the world all right again.“I could just bust buttons right now†it’s just so brilliant.
I am truly sorry about your friend, and I cannot explain why, but I have discovered since I have been blogging that there are some extreme liberals, who I have never met in my life, but who truly hate me as a person, because of my libertarian beliefs. I have never quite understood it, but they sincerely believe that I am a terrible person because my beliefs differ from theirs.
Being called names seems the order of the day, and that makes me very sad. These insults which are hurtful when they come from strangers, are more devastating when they come from someone who you used to call a friend.
Especially because I know you to be an extremely fair person and someone who has tried to make this blog a platform for both sides, I know this is painful for you.
For your mother and your wife to be proud of you is what matters, sod the rest.
Comment by Alexandra � April 8, 2006 @ 11:15 am
I think that is what counts the most anyway. Keep up the good work, I know two guys in Iraq that like reading your blog, that has to count for something at least.
Comment by T F Boggs � April 8, 2006 @ 11:15 am
Alexandria: “sod the rest.” A plebian phrase and at the same time so damned eloquent! Girl, you have said it best.
Rick, getting a “button bust” from your mom must be one of the finest feelings in the world. My parent’s died long before I started blogging, but I’m pretty sure they are both looking down and if not busting buttons, at least flapping their wings.
Good post, great intro to show the differences between someone who tosses aside a long standing friendship, and true love. Next time you see your mom, give her a big hug and tell her it is from GM! You have your orders son, now carry them out.
GM
Comment by GM Roper � April 8, 2006 @ 11:43 am
Great post, Ug, thanks for sharing your private stuff. Glad for you that your mom gave you such a high compliment.
Comment by Mike � April 8, 2006 @ 1:08 pm
Thank you all for the kind words.
Comment by The Ugly American � April 8, 2006 @ 1:36 pm
Ah, the longtime friend turned traitor. Been on the recieving end of that a few times myself, for several reasons (admittantly some my own fault). I have to say that politics has to be one of the stupidest. Unfortunately some people are keen on making that choice. The only advice I can give is to forgive him and move on. He’ll come around…or not. Trying to force action one way or the other just tends to make things worse.
Hooah on your mom being proud though.
Comment by Ranba Ral � April 8, 2006 @ 1:36 pm
A friend that would leave you over politics isn’t a friend. I have found with my liberal friends and family it’s safest if politics can’t be avoided, to talk about the horse race and not the issues.
Comment by brainster � April 8, 2006 @ 1:47 pm
One of the things I learned long ago is that politics is just a means of human interaction and the settling of problems. Good politics results in compromise.
“Steve” hasn’t a clue about his country, our system of government, or how things work — or he wouldn’t be being a dick about your politics.
My best friend (other than my wife, that is) and I have been arguing politics for over 25 years. We rarely if ever agree. And yet, we’re still friends, because we both understand that this nation has the worst system of government in the history of mankind (except for all the others).
Sorry to hear he’s a lost cause, Rick, but loved your post, and loved your mom’s reaction.
Bam sends his love, by the way; he can’t stand it since he “drove you off” (his words). LOL
Comment by Tiberius Gracchus � April 8, 2006 @ 3:01 pm
welcome to the club. you survived your initiation! i don’t have a blogg however i have been sending out random emails to about fifty people for about seven years. it started as market advice, charts etc because i was tired of being the party pooper, by default, as people kept asking for market advice. good friends all until the war started. while they knew i loved reagan because of his support for his economic policies etc they had no idea i was to the right of wolfowitz and the neo cons when 9-11 happened. lets just say the fur flew and one family member said goodbye along with a number of what i thought were friends.
just remeber “the beatings will continue until morale improves”.
the message is always delivered the same way “please delete me from your email list”. words are never spoken again……..
it hurts every time. i guess that’s why they say never discuss politics and religion. i don’t want people to always agree with me–that’s boring–but i can’t figure out why they would take it to the revulsion stage.
Comment by patrick neid � April 8, 2006 @ 5:50 pm
I know how you feel, my friend from HS called me a Nazi in front of all of my friends at a Halloween party in 2004, I have seen him several times since but we have not spoken, I thought he was bigger than that.
Mom is much more important.
Comment by Michael � April 8, 2006 @ 9:59 pm
Well, first I feel I must apologize to UA for even posting again. I did promise not to and for the first time I know of I broke a promise to him. So “sorry” for that. Let me also say one of the biggest ironies of all this is that I’m the registered republican and UA is the registered Dem, at least last I heard. In my view this is just one example of how the country has changed and become so divided in the last two terms. It is to my dismay that we have gotten to this stage and I admit to some fault, but I also stand by what I have said to UA. I to think he is a decent man and wish him well. I must say that the last post was my attempt to rattle the cage of someone I once considered a best friend (and btw I was a good friend to him despite what some posts may say) and bring him back from what in my opinion is the party of no compassion, lies, abusive of religion and power for personal gain, and money grubbers. Whew I’m sure that’ll get you going, but remember I am a registered conservative since I was 18 and this is not the party I joined.In parting UA I’d like to thank you for the post. Oddly it shows me deep down you really must care, but the truth is I believe we’re both a little to stubborn to give up on our ideals. UA I think you for the years and I’m glad your Mom’s proud of you. Oh, and if I may the anonymity of blogging is a very powerful feeling and potentially dangerous tool. Might I remind you all to check your skeletons at the door before being so critical.
Comment by Steve Stockdale � April 8, 2006 @ 10:31 pm
Steve I just read your latest comment. I hope you will reconsider your position. Your relationship with Rick is based on so much more than your political views. You have both grown into wonderful adults I am proud of. I hope you will not end a life long friendship soley based on the fact you no longer vote the same party. Whatever you decide just remember we still love you.
Mom
Comment by Barbara � April 9, 2006 @ 9:45 am
So let me get this straight — you’re a Republican who hates his party, and Rick is a Democrat who hates his party?
Comment by Tiberius Gracchus � April 9, 2006 @ 11:59 am
Ah…love is so dang complicated. Hurt feelings, differing opinions..can rip pples hearts out. If someone is so offended by your beliefs…perhaps its best to let them go.
Stand tall UA..You know in your heart that you are a man of integrity..and isnt that all that matters at days end?
Proud of u?..Heck yea..for what its worth..heh…I sure am!
Comment by Angel � April 9, 2006 @ 2:53 pm
Sorry to hear about your friend. But, what could be better than your mother’s approval. It’s even nice when you are an adult. Thanks for sharing this.
Comment by Jim Hoft � April 9, 2006 @ 6:50 pm
[…] Blogs For A Free Iraq 24 Steps to Liberty Iraq The Model Treasure of Baghdad Recent Posts Friends Crisis in the Officer Corps? Lieberman Does Not Rule Out Leaving Dems Headline: 3 Year Old Storyon Tammy Bruce Show Syndicate The Site Site Information Who links to me? Friends Filed by The Ugly American on April 10th, 2006 at 16:12 underUncategorized […]
Pingback by The Real Ugly American.com » Blog Archive » Friends � April 10, 2006 @ 4:12 pm
I have yet to “come out” to many of my friends - and only told my mother about my blog a couple of weeks ago. In my case, it’s my mother with whom I didn’t share much ideology, and I was concerned that telling her might harm what was an otherwise pleasant relationship (though obviously somewhat constrained by the differences in our worldviews). As it turns out, much of the “difference” in our worldviews was a misunderstanding. My mommy is proud of me too!
Comment by The Random Yak � April 10, 2006 @ 4:27 pm